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Fall 2003-2004 ABC TV Network Programming Schedule

 Descriptions and Analysis

New Series in blue.

Click on underlined titles for information.

Here's the link to ABC's own 2003 Schedule website.

New Series

10-8:  It's being described in showbiz homage (aka there-are-no-new-ideas) speak as TV's version of the tough and unpleasant movie Training Day, yet 10-8 also promises to offer its own unique take on things.   The main character is Rico, a former NYC tough guy (kid, really) who's been sent to Los Angeles to shape up.  After graduating from the Sheriff's Academy, he's teamed up with the toughest officer on the force; remember when they used to describe similar characters as "crusty yet benign"?  Not so sure about the benign here, but we're in luck because he's being played by terrific actor Ernie Hudson.  Danny Nucci plays the junior partner in this enterprise; you might remember him as DiCaprio's buddy in the movie Titanic or as the straight roommate in the short-lived 2001 CBS comedy Some of My Best Friends.  For viewers looking for action and adventure on Sunday nights -- and who want more pure police action than in CBS' new Cold Case -- this could be just the ticket.  Paired with the stylish and super-charged Alias, this could make Sunday night one of the zippiest nights around.   Premiere Date:  9/28/03:  Review 10/2:  10-8 got kicked in the premiere week ratings by CBS' new Cold Case -- primarily due to lead-in, I'd say -- but it was a very pleasant surprise to me.  Produced by Aaron Spelling and definitely more from the the old school of TV drama, that is, heavy on entertainment and charm, 10-8 and it's alley-runnin', fence-jumpin', tire-squealin' action antics made for a fast-paced and appealing hour.  Trading a lot on Danny Nucci's streetwise charm as a new sheriff's recruit, the show creates a far-from-new-for-TV personality contest between his sweet strength and Ernie Hudson's demanding yet engaging intensity, but the dynamic between these two characters is something you'll want to see again.  This show's definitely a personality piece in a recognizable genre, and that's what producer Spelling does best.  There's nobody else in TV who has such a great track record for celebrating the power of a charismatic actor, and you can see his keen eye for a super charmer at work here with Nucci.  Now, the only question is, has America fallen so much in love with taciturn leads and the grim, grisly and gruesome on so many current crime shows that it doesn't remember what it's like to actually *enjoy* watching a show?  10-8 is decidedly more Starsky and Hutch than CSI, and I find the distinction a welcome change.  Gosh, I hope this one lasts.  One of these days viewers are going to decide they've gone to enough autopsies; I can't think of a better alternative than a ride-along with these captivating cops.  Update 10/3/03:  On-air promos are now calling the show 10-8 Officers on Duty, elucidating the police jargon title.  Update 10/30/03:  Received its back nine episode order; its performance has picked up a bit and ABC obviously sees life in it.  Update 12/21/03:  ABC has cut back its back order to 3, for a total of 15. The show will go on hiatus Feb. 2004.

Hope and Faith: Daytime Darling Kelly Ripa teams up with Faith Ford (Murphy Brown) in a high concept, high energy family sitcom which will provide the tentpole for ABC's revamped TGIF.  In a life-imitates-art (somewhat) plot point, Ripa plays a washed-up soap opera star who retreats into suburbia to live with her stay-at-home-mom sister and her husband, their three kids, and the sisters' older father who lives with them.  Egos clash, sibling rivalries are rekindled, and I have to admit that the clip I saw had some funny if less-than-subtle moments.  It looks like the gals aren't afraid of some old-fashioned physical humor, and if they have any skill it could be a welcome return of something we just don't see much of anymore, at least not using women over thirty.  It's also wonderful to to see veteran actor Harve Presnell in the cast.  After his movie debut back in 1964 with Debbie Reynolds in The Unsinkable Molly Brown, this singer-actor did mostly stage work until he returned with a vengeance with his role in the Coen Brothers Fargo in 1996, and he hasn't stopped working since.  He and Sean Connery are a great advertisement for men over 70!  If ABC gets their Friday strategy going strong, Hope and Faith looks like it has a great chance to attract viewers.  And it won't hurt having Kelly Ripa plugging the show on her daytime gig with Regis, either.  HaF looks like much more of a sure thing than Life with Bonnie; that made it to season two, and is in fact the lead-out here.  And in case you're confused who's who, Kelly is Faith and Faith is Hope.  Update 6/30/03:  Veteran TV personality Ted McGinley joins the cast as Ford's husband, replacing Josh Stamberg who played the role in the pilot.  Premiere Date:  9/26/03.  Review 10/2:  Well, so much for my kind words about Harve Presnell.  He seems to be out of the picture -- hey, how many kids have grandparents around today, anyway, right? -- and that's a shame.  There's nothing novel on Hope and Faith, except perhaps further evidence of the new family TV list of acceptable subjects which now obviously includes crotchless panties, to be or not to be a slut, little girls' boob-talk, and noontime parental sex breaks.  I'm far from a prude, but really, is that kind of stuff necessary?  If Ripa and Ford would just stick to bickering and throwing around cookie dough, I'd be a lot more pleased to see this one make it.  Faith Ford is a pro, as always, but we're forced to listen to her character's implausible complaints that after having three kids her breasts are sagging and she's too out of shape to wear a teddie, and what does Ford weigh, like 95 pounds or something?  It's a visual disconnect that just doesn't cut it.  Let's hope she doesn't go lingerie shopping again, for any number of reasons!  Hope and Faith isn't bad; it's silly to the max and that's okay.  Kelly Ripa has just about enough comedienne in her to pass muster, and if we're not going to exactly see comedy history being made here, at least nobody's turned up gay so far, and that's in itself makes Hope and Faith a unique experience this season.  Update 10/17/03:  ABC has ordered four more scripts.  Update 10/30/03:  Got its full season order. 

I'm With Her:  It's an unabashed romantic comedy with two attractive leads in David Sutcliffe -- veteran of many appearances on Gilmore Girls -- and Teri Polo, she of the Meet the Parents movie, plus lots of TV like Sports Night, Felicity, and The Practice.  The premise is normal guy (a teacher) meets gorgeous movie star, they fall in love, and now he's learning to cope with being the man behind the beautiful famous woman.  I'm With Her is based on series producer Chris Henchy's marriage to Brooke Shields; he was a Hollywood TV writer when they met so it wasn't quite the Princess and the Pauper as imagined here, but hey, this one could be cute if it's your cup of tea.  Jammed in tight between the successful 8 Simple Rules and According to Jim, I'm With Her has a nice cushy hammock and let's hope it doesn't fall out.  Premiere Date:  9/23/03.  Update and Review 9/25/03:  I'm With Her is now in the unusual and unenviable position of following a show (8 Simple Rules) which is now getting its biggest numbers ever following the death of beloved series star John Ritter.  When the emotions die down and 8 Simple Rules either makes it or not based on its new premise, that will be I'm With Her's real test.  In the meantime, the show is innocuous fun with two attractive leads and nutty best friend characters for both of them.  Innocuous yes, but with an unpleasant whiff of class nonsense with the poor noble teacher really being a rebel runaway from a job at his father's law firm, so he's not actually poor, or anything creepy like that.  Wouldn't want a movie star to have to act her way out of that unpleasant situation, would we?  Update 10/17/03:  I'm With Her has gotten an additional four episode order.  Update 10/30/03:  Just got its full season order.  

It's All Relative:  Well, isn't this one a nice collection of current politically-correct sexual and cultural stereotypes:  rich girl Harvard Medical student with two gay, educated artsy dads falls for down-to-earth Irish Catholic fella, son of a working-class bartender dad and mom (and who dresses just like Maeve from the old soap opera Ryan's Hope -- also set in an Irish bar.  In joke?).  Does anything here sound like something NOT out of a 21st Century formula book?  This variation on The Birdcage -- and ultimately Abie's Irish Rose, for heaven's sake -- comes at a time when but the  mystique around gay male unions is still potent.  When two guys get married it's all Sondheim, Cindy Sherman, and Chardonnay, or so somebody would like us to believe.  I realize that gay men may find the notion that television shows are being fashioned around them and their households to be a fetching one, but it isn't their fabulous personalities that are doing the trick; what's drawing the advertiser interest is those DINK (Double Income No Kids) wallets they're usually toting around.  Congratulations, fellas, you've arrived.  The series has an attractive cast --  Maggie Lawson (Inside Schwartz), Reid Scott (What I Like About You), John Benjamin Hickey (Roger Edens in the Judy Garland TV bio movie) among others -- and a pair of producers with an in at ABC.  Though Craig Zadan and Neil Meron wowed the Oscars with Chicago, their TV musical productions have ranged from very good to ho-hum and we'll see if they can rein it in to sitcom level.  Premiere Date:  10/1/03.  Review 10/6/03:  It's not good when you can guess everything about a show from its premise, but I'll second everything I previously wrote about It's All Relative before seeing it.  The cast was uniformly good, but apart from the too-obvious concept of gay men trying to pass as straight while visiting a working man's tavern and just about every other stereotypical joke in the book, it's the same old story.  I don't see how this is any different from that bad art painting of dogs playing poker, which no doubt the gallery owner partner in the gay couple wouldn't be caught dead showing, except as camp.  If merely the notion and look of two gay men raising a hottie Harvard coed is comedy fodder, is this a step forward for anybody?  And, we might ask, honestly, does it need to be?  Probably no on both counts, and I'd never underestimate the basic comic potential in the situation.  Maybe that's enough reason for It's All Relative to exist.  TV hasn't had a good minority to exploit in a while, having exhausted the sassy black sistah (except on UPN), and of course the truth here is that the snippy gay man is exactly the same character, albeit with less head-rolling wind-ups and more acidic pop-culture-oriented put-downs.  How long can the show keep up a one-note comedy chord?  Goodness knows they'll certainly be some tolerance-raising going on in the coming weeks, and perhaps I'm fearing those preachy moments more than the obligatory interior-decorator quips.  All this show really needs to do is get viewers, and it looks as though early numbers are pointing to a relative success.  Update 10/17/03:  ABC has ordered four more scripts of It's All Relative.  10/30/03:  Has received its full season order.  Update 3/23/04:  IAR's getting slamming opposite Fox's American Idol,  so it will temporarily be moved to Tuesdays at 9:30pm through April, at least. 

Karen Sisco:  A female U.S. Marshall on Miami's Gold Coast struggles to catch the bad guys, win the respect of the other good guys, and find a cool guy of her own for a little romance.  Based on the Jennifer Lopez character in the Steven Soderbergh-directed 1998 movie Out of Sight -- and does that mean that she's going to fall in love with criminals, as J Lo did with George Clooney? -- ABC's calling this one a "combination of action and character-drama."  The fresh and ravishing Carla Gugino -- the mom in the Spy Kids movie franchise -- plays Karen, and she and this show have received one of ABC's most solid timeslots, after The Bachelor. Also along for the ride, and what a welcome addition, is the veteran tough-guy character actor Robert Forster.  He's been great for over 35 years and well worth tuning in for. Can Karen Sisco and her cohorts kick a little Law & Order butt, not to mention David Kelly's new drama over on CBS?  I'm rooting for her.  Premiere Date:  10/1/03.  Review 10/3/03:  As predicted, Karen Sisco's considerable charms were buried by L&O's glacial force, but the show is a snazzy and engrossing crime hour with a great cast.  Like the character in the movie, in the pilot ep Karen did indeed fall in love with a perp; next week's show looks like a criminal shaggy dog story guest-starring series producer Danny DeVito and wife Rhea Pearlman, so we maybe can expect a show that dares to be tonally different every week.  I wouldn't bet that it's the best course to take to ensure a long life, what with the current emphasis on the plodding theatrics of Dick Wolf's various franchise entries and their ilk, yet for viewers looking for a smart action show with a funky edge Karen Sisco is a winner already.  Gugino is a savvy and appealing actress, and Robert Forster lends the perfect grizzled presence as her retired investigator dad.  It's hard to tell which of the other supporting characters will stick around; actor Gary Cole had a very peripheral role in the pilot and it's hard to believe he'd take a bit part.  He'd be a nice foil for the headstrong Sisco, and maybe more if she ever gives up her penchant for bedding the bad guys.  It would be a crime if Karen Sisco doesn't make it, but it may take until the summer -- or till they catch up with their TIVO -- for viewers to discover this gem.  Update 10/30/03:  Still no full season order for this entertaining show, which is, of course getting whacked by L&O (damn their eyes!).  Incidentally, Gary Cole turned out to be a rogue officer, perhaps ultimately Sisco's Moriarity, if the show goes long enough.  Update 11/17/03:  ABC has put Karen Sisco on hiatus, effective immediately, filling the slot with various Extreme Makeover specials now and starting in January, Celebrity Mole, and in March, Stephen King's adaptation of the Danish Kingdom Hospital miniseries.  The network has, however, left the door open for the show to comeback for another try, reflecting Sisco's position as one of the few critical successes for ABC this year, despite falling to L&O's bully pulpit.  Update 1/30/04:  ABC's gone back on its intention to re-launch Sisco, instead annoucing that it's cancelling the show, which has produced 10 episodes so far and shown ten.  USA Network has occasionally been replaying the show in late-nite, so catch it while you can.  Critical praise be damned, eh?

Married to the Kellys (nee Back to Kansas):   Every day's like a huge family reunion now that big-city novelist Tom has moved back to Kansas with his lovely bride Susan, and has found himself smothered in the bosom of her large Midwestern -- and of course eccentric -- family.  Starring the more whimsical-than-handsome Breckin Meyer (Inside Schwartz, Kate and Leopold) and the lovely Meredith Monroe (Dawson's Creek), you'd have to be a real anti-family grouch to diss this one out of hand.  Unfortunately I'm just that sort of grouch, but this series looks like it deserves a chance.  It's up against two other new family sitcoms, Luis and Like Family, so it will probably come down in large measure to lead-in.  ABC's going to be making a big deal out of the return of their TGIF campaign, helping Back to Kansas and the rest of the Friday line-up stand out from the considerable competition.  Otherwise it's Back to the Drawing Board, of course.  Update 7/1/03:  ABC has changed the title of the show to Married to the Kellys.  Premiere Date:  10/3/03.  Update 10/17/04:  ABC has ordered four additional scripts.  Update 10/30/03:  Received its full season order.

Threat Matrix:  Thursday at 8pm on ABC?  This is a job for...Homeland Security!  As America's newest real-life superheroes, this intrepid band of attractive agents is out there in full force going after terrorism in all its forms.  I do think it's fairly weird for ABC to tout that the group is, and I quote, "working with cutting-edge technology – and vast stores of chutzpah," that last attribute surely the secret weapon which will make Al Quaeda quiver and convert.  Threat Matrix could be just fine, though they've thrown in the oh-so-familiar bickering (yet no doubt) still tremendously sexually charged divorced couple as main characters.  As played by the appealing Kelly Rutherford (Melrose Place, Brisco County) and the stalwart Jamie Denton (The Pretender), maybe they can breathe some life into the cliched relationship.  This show will need more than charisma to go the distance; Thursday at 8pm was ABC's black hole last year, swallowing up Dinotopia and helping to suck in Push, Nevada to its doom at 9pm.  There's no good reason to think things will be any different this year, as the strong competition is still there.   Will viewers give up Survivor or Friends for Threat Matrix?  I guess that aforementioned chutzpah might turn out to be real useful, after all.  Premiere Date:  9/18/03.  Review 10/3/03:  Other than the obvious TV timeslot situation that has doomed this show, the current political climate isn't helping viewers swallow the dour proceedings in Threat Matrix.  With proof of WMDs slow in coming in Iraq, is it too much to expect viewers to respond to a show where such an assumption is key to the drama?  Perhaps Threat Matrix has shown just where the boundary really is in terms of what can pass as mass entertainment for most Americans.  Autopsies -- at least staged ones -- are on the okay list, along with bloody crime scenes, an explicit lexicon where semen traces and vaginal scrapings are constant companions, and arcane investigational procedures played out in infinitesimal detail.  What have obviously not made the grade yet are grim depictions of scary real world worst case scenarios where the bad guys are really, really, REALLY bad.  If incipient germ warfare or incoming terrorists aren't quite appealing enough to generate tune-in, it's easy to blame Joey and Rachel and those desert island dodos, but perhaps it's actually Americans' fear of instant annihilation that puts the ultimate kibosh on Threat Matrix.  The show is well-done and chilling, and while the first attribute is a must, the second is a killer, at least in these United States.  Update 10/30/03:  Good news!  Probably on the basis on fairly successful Monday night plays, Threat Matrix has received its full season order.  Update 1/28/03:  ABC has cut back the Threat Matrix order to 16 episodes.   

Mid-Season Shows

The D.A.: Steven Weber stars in this new prosecutorial drama, set in Los Angeles, about the dedicated men and women in the District Attorney's office.  Nothing new, certainly, but Weber is somebody you don't see everyday -- and maybe you don't want to -- and while there's probably nothing terribly different that's going to transpire here, undoubtedly it will look good.  Whether it will work is something else entirely, as ABC doesn't seem to be too keen on letting good dramas find their niche, as witnessed by their shameful treatment of Karen Sisco and Threat Matrix.  It's not that ABC doesn't have any good dramas, they just don't remember how to program them anymore, or is it that the viewers can remember that there's more to life than Law & Order or CSI?  Probably a little bit of both.  The D.A.begins airing Fridays at 10pm on March 19th.

Line of Fire: This intriguing crime drama focusing on the opposite worlds of the F.B.I. and a successful crime family, though well-received by critics, couldn't break through into viewer acceptance.  David Paymer, as the meticulous and poetic crime boss, was excellent, but even his  performance and the equally complex one of Leslie Hope (Jack's late wife in 24) wasn't enough to keep viewers with the show.  Too dark, too grim, too cynical, Line of Fire was indeed all those things, but most deadly was that it wasn't a spin-off of an already-successful franchise, seemingly the only way drama can succeed these days.  Aired from December '03 thru January '04.  

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: After his horrible accident a few years ago, Stephen King found himself smitten with the dark and mysterious Danish miniseries about a haunted hospital called The Kingdom, directed by Lars Von Triers, and as he recovered he found himself adapting the source material to his own spooky ends.  This is the result, and despite a boffo first week in the ratings, ABC hasn't been able to sustain the oomph even past the second episode.  I'd like to think that it's because the timeslot -- Wednesday at 10pm -- is itself haunted by the memory of the very good series that ABC killed, namely Karen Sisco.  Whether it's ghosts or just bad karma coming back to roost, ABC probably had it coming, what with their inability to figure out what to do with dramas anymore.  It's pretty sad when they can't even keep a show by Stephen King on life support long enough to do themselves any good.